Fed is Best

magbanksIf you haven’t seen What to Expect When you’re Expecting, you need to.

Let’s just get right to the point. I think we put an immense amount of pressure on new and more importantly, first time moms to breast feed. I remember when I was pregnant reading articles, Facebook posts, and comments left by other moms straight up shaming women who didn’t breast feed their kids.

Ya’ll. I can’t.

Breastfeeding is hard. Like really, freaking hard. I honestly don’t think there’s any way a woman can mentally prepare for all that. It’s just so much.

I was lucky enough to breast feed Em for six months. Now, let me give you all the facts. Home girl could eat. Around a month we started to give her formula at night, which I’m not even ashamed to admit made her sleep longer, which was the point. I exclusively breast fed her, no pumping for about four months. And I’ll be even more honest here and say I didn’t love it.
After four months, I started doing every other feeding with formula and finally started pumping. Why I didn’t pump as much before, I’m not sure. Maybe some where I honestly thought that it really was just “Breast is Best”.

I was tired. And also hungry all the time.

I had made the goal before Em was born to make it six months so it was really important to me to keep that. And I did. But leading up to it, I just knew she was done. It was that motherly intuition kicking in again.

I’m more than happy to relay to you that I have a happy and very healthy one year old right now. Formula and all.

I wish I could ban all those mean moms from the Internet. You know, the one’s that think you need to birth your kids at home and that breast feeding is the only way they can survive. They’re the kind that nurse their kids until their old enough to ask for it. Which I’m also not ashamed to say I think is weird.

I’m done with the idea that you’re not a true mother unless you have that bond with your baby.

False. You’re a mother the first time you hold that bundle of joy. Whether you birthed them at home, at a hospital, in the backseat of a car, or you didn’t even birth them yourself. You are a mother.

So you know best.

Which means if feeding your baby formula is what’s best, than do that.
I’m not ashamed to admit that while I loved (and at times miss) that first nursing session with my girl in the morning, I do not miss trying to cover myself up and do it at dinner. I do not miss trying to figure out where the next stop would be so I could climb in the back and nurse her. I’m not ashamed to admit that I didn’t totally over the moon love breast feeding.

Also not ashamed to admit that I’m mad I didn’t keep going just to loose the baby weight. Don’t judge me. You know what I’m talking about.

I have bonded with Emily far more doing other things than breast feeding.
There I said it.

Now here me here. For those of you mamas who can breast feed to that year mark, I am applauding you! As long as you aren’t the mean kind ūüėČ

But I just think we all need to come together and support each other on this. Whether we do it or we don’t. Whether we choose to…or we don’t. Whatever the choice is that you’re making for your baby is the best.

Fed is best.

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LOL at Monday

Because being a mother is all about laughing at yourself, at your kids, at your husband…pretty much at life in general. So while I’ll cover some deep and serious topics this month. Let’s LOL at Mondays.

I spent all day cleaning Saturday and by 10:00am on Sunday it looks like a tornado hit.

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The Mom Intuition

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The day the Mom gut kicked in. 

I like to use fancy words when possible, but the title of this post could also be, “The Mom Gut”. Because I’m here to tell you it’s a real thing.

Raising tiny humans is hard. In fact the hardest thing I’ve had to ever do in my life, full of beautiful rewards, but so hard at times.

Over the last thirteen months of Ems life, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had the, “I just don’t know what to do” freak out. Times when nothing will soothe her, or she just wouldn’t go to sleep. Times when we had tried everything we knew. Mamas, these times will happen.

But.

The majority of the time, when something is off, or Em just isn’t herself, I know without a doubt what’s wrong. My mom gut kicks in. The part of me that makes completely rational decisions in the blink of an eye. Something pre-Mama Megan was never good at.

I can’t lie and tell you that most of the time when our Mom instincts need to go into over drive, is when the you know what is hitting the fan. For example. A couple weeks ago Sonny was out of town so Em and I headed to my moms for the weekend. On a rare occurance, both my sister were in town as well. We had a super fun weekend planned out for us girls…but one tiny human didn’t get the memo. Em was so fussy, didn’t sleep well and we woke up the first morning and I just knew we needed to go home. I was so bummed. But my gut just kept saying, “Something has over taken your sweet smiley human and you need to go”.

Turns out her molars are coming in. See, I knew it was something.

The point is, that you, better than anyone else in the world know what’s best for your child. Never and I repeat never let anyone make you feel any different.

Sometimes the mom instincts will have to kick in with really stressful situation, other times it just knowing with absolute confindence what outfit will make your kid look the cutest.

Trust your gut, mamas! You really, truly know best.

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Write 31 Days

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So here we are again. October.

Pause to wonder how on earth this happened.

And so like any good blogger I’m fully aware that it’s also the start of 31 Days of Writing, which I’m actually excited about.

I feel like when I started over with this blog I had forgotten everything I knew from before with blogging. I also think I naively thought I’d just jump right back in with the same readers and groups.

Wrong. Very wrong.

Some days that makes me exhausted, and the thought, “No one is reading, just give up” creeps in. But here I am, still writing. Because I love it.

So I’m deciding to do the Write 31 Days this year (again, again, again). But I swear I’ll do it. Or at least 90%.

My topic was an easy one to pick from, Motherhood. I’ve officially been on the battle field, soaking up all its glory for a year now. Which means I hardly know a thing, but I’ll be sharing all my biased opinions anyways. l o l

Here’s to 31 Days of Motherhood. Yes it’s been done before, but not by me.

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10 Things September Taught Me

unnamed{Em, your choices are Cleveland or Miami. It’s a loose loose situation for you, kiddo. Sorry}

1. Being a “single mom” is hard. Sonny was out of town for two weekends in a row, and while I had some help from family, it was pretty much just me and kiddo all weekend. And it’s hard. My hat is off to single moms, and moms (or dads) of loved ones over seas. You rock. Seriously.

2. Just because you make a To-Do list doesn’t mean you have to follow it. I didn’t get any books read, I didn’t find anything fun and new to do. But I found other things in between.

3. Eating healthy is better for you and makes you feel better. I know, so silly I’m even writing this. But lately I’ve been *trying* to eat better and I’ve noticed that my usual 4:00 drag hasn’t come along. Some times I just make a cup of coffee, just to drink it. When before it was just to survive.

4. The Cleveland Browns are a TERRIBLE football team. I have no other words about this.

5. It doesn’t matter how much research you do for a Fantasy Football league, your team can still suck. I’m currently 0-3. #UGH.

6. People are mean. I quit Facebook because I just couldn’t do it anymore and this was a huge reason why.

7.¬†Eating healthy is hard. There’s a reason it’s called “Fast Food”.

8. Endorphins make you happy…and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. Hashtag if you don’t get that, I’m not sure we can be friends. I started the 21 day fix again. Pray for me.

9. Getting out of the house is proven to make you happier. By me. Because some days I just have to get out. A stroll through Target, or just to the grocery store for ten minutes. Automatic mood changer for me.

10. FALL WILL COME TO FLORIDA AT SOME POINT. And it might only be here for a day or two, but it’s coming. We have had 72 degree mornings and I’ve literally jumped for joy and praised the Lord.

What did September teach you?

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I broke up with Facebook

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One of the first things anyone can learn about me if they go on one of my social media accounts is that I’m a Republican. Although, to be honest, I don’t love using that term now. How about Conservative? Lover of Ronald Reagan?

Anyways, I’ve always been super open and honest about my political (and religious) view points. One of my favorite things on the planet is talking to people with opinions that are completely¬†different than mine. Yes, I’ll admit that younger Megan just liked to try and prove people wrong (who didn’t at 18), but I’ve learned that the only way we’re ever going to make things better is by being open and honest with each other.

So going forward, just know that I’m a Bible thumping, Pro-Life, Police Supporting, 2nd Amendment loving Elephant.

Please be laughing. 

But recently I realized that there was a part of me being sucked out,
there was this pit in my stomach.
maybe an ache for humanity.

Every time I got onto Facebook.

I think we can all agree that lately, things are getting super heated in our country. And there’s a big line and division being drawn. It…well it sucks.

When things happen anymore, it’s either you’re pro this or pro that. You either side with these people, or those. You either stand, or kneel.

And we all (including myself here) forget that we’re all just Americans…we’re all just humans.
Who are allowed to have different opinions. Everyone is so damn defensive anymore.
Still including myself here.

But it’s because we’re passionate about things. I’m super passionate about the Pro-Life movement and find myself irate at people who are pro-choice. And that’s not right, I know this. I know that there are people who don’t have the same views as I do.

And so last week after the shooting in Charlotte I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was astounded by the amount of people, and let me be even more specific, Christian women who have a giant platform, who were pointing their fingers. Placing blame before we even knew the whole story.

And that’s wrong.

I am so sad to see where social media has gone. In a time that should be for searching for answers, or trying to understand, we point fingers. Instead of being a place to go to gather information, it’s the most biased place out there.

And while yes, we’re all entitled to our opinions, and have the beautiful privilege of sharing them…it’s how we’re doing that. It’s the language we use. The words we say.

Please know that there have been plenty of times in the last six months that I have gone a-wall on Facebook with my opinions on things. Begging people to stop supporting movements that are killing the police. Being super vocal about a certain candidate running for President who should be in jail…there I go again. See how easy it is? So maybe I’m taking this break to shut myself up.

A couple months ago I went through and deleted 324 people off my friends list. I had realized that I A) didn’t know some of them B) hadn’t spoken to them in 4+ years or C) I couldn’t keep seeing their posts about hating the police. Now yes, I know you can “Hide” things from your timeline, tried it but they kept coming back. And with the removing of friends, I went in and Unfollowed a lot of pages.

But it wasn’t enough.

I couldn’t take it anymore. So I broke up with Facebook.

Now some of you might thing I’m just being small minded, and can’t handle things.
Maybe you’re right.

But I’m deciding that instead of continually seeing things that piss me off, or make me so sad…I just got rid of it.¬†I’m making the choice to get rid of something that isn’t making my life any better, or pointing me in the right direction.

Yes. Let’s be clear here I had this “But wait! Delete your Facebook, Megan?! How will you survive???”
Look at me, surviving and stuff without it.

I still have Instagram and Snapchat. I’m not a monster.

But I’m taking this giant breath of fresh air, and running with it.

With the election coming, it’s only going to get worse. I know that, and so do you. If you can take it all, friend I am applauding you down here. But I can’t.

I have no idea when, or if I’ll go back. Turns out you can “Deactivate” your Facebook in case you ever want to go back.

Right now, I’m ok with just saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

 

 

 

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Our beautiful minds

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The mind is a beautiful thing. When I start to think about thoughts, and where they come from (even specifically in the brain) I get lost in awe. It’s amazing. Our brains, and what they make us do, let us think about.

There’s also a huge danger there, right? If we aren’t careful we can start out thinking about how great our day was, but then thoughts can creep in and steal that joy away. A fear might pop up, or a regret about something that didn’t get done.

Satan is super quick, y’all.

I was reminded this morning in a devotional about how important it is to keep our thoughts straight, and on God. There’s a battle happening between our minds and our hearts on a daily basis, and if we aren’t careful, the mind can win. Our hearts are pure. They want the best. They store up those good vibes and replay them all day. But sometimes, that mind of ours can play tricks on us.

There’s a lot…ok too much bad going on in our world. You can pretty much guarantee every morning when you wake up something else has happened. As a mother, this terrifies me. Shootings, and bombings. Masked men walking into elementary schools. See where my mind is going?

Do I think it’s realistic to walk around in la la land, ignoring what’s happening? Of course not. And if you’re that kind of woman, I urge you to knock it off. But there has to be a middle ground.

And for me, that’s Jesus. And the promises He made.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

I’m a mother so I worry, I’ll do it for the rest of my life. But.
I also know that God has a plan. One that at times I won’t understand because it might be painful. One that at times I won’t even find the right words for gratitude. But He’s got one. And I trust in that.

I think that if we’re going to over come the crap in this world, we have to start with our thoughts. Are they good, or bad? It’s that’s simple. Are we wishing well, or ill? Are they full of love or hate? Because to be honest, it’s super easy in todays world to be the later of all those.

Life is one big beautiful choice though.

Thank you, Jesus for that.

So let’s use our beautiful minds for good.

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Give yourself some grace

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On the days when you don’t even know what day of the week it is, give yourself some grace.

When your child won’t eat the same thing for lunch they had the day before (and devoured it), give yourself some grace.

If you’re left wearing a pair of socks two days in a row, give yourself some grace.

When your floors look like the floors of a barn, give yourself some grace.

If a schedule change comes, unexpectedly from your child, give your self some grace.

When that to-to list looks the exact same for three weeks in a row because you haven’t done a single thing on it, give yourself some grace.

If you wrote something down and still forgot it, give yourself some grace.

When your child wakes up at 545 am, give yourself some grace. And coffee.

If you’ve hit the end of your rope, and you just don’t think you can do it anymore, give yourself some grace.

When you look at other peoples lives and wonder “How in the world is she doing all that?”, give yourself some grace.

On the days that you’re counting down to bedtime from the time your tiny human wakes up, give yourself some grace.

Whether you’re up or your down, I think it’s a really good idea to just give yourself some grace today.

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Emily Mae // 12 Months

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No, it’s fine. I have a one year old. I’m fine.

Cries in the corner. 

So here we are! The last update. Because as much as I’d love to be “that mom” who keeps this thing going until she’s 18, it’s not going to happen.

+Pulling herself up and crawling everywhere. She took a little while to crawl on all fours, she’s been shuffling and army crawling for a while, but finally got up right around her birthday. And homegirl can book it. She loves to walk along the couch and fireplace, and can move with the little walker helper thing we got her. Technical term of course.

+Got dedicated to the Lord! Such an amazing thing to do. I can write a whole post on this…probably should. But! God has chosen US to be her mom and dad. To raise her up in Him. So cool. And so lucky because she’s the best.

+Still chomping down with eight teeth. Although I think the ninth is on the way…today.

+Made it through her first hurricane! Looking at you Hermine. Which I called Hermione all weekend. Mommy on the other hand, had a panic attack when it came through. But we’re all good.

+She is so excited that football is finally back! She watches it. Duh.

+Officially off formula *choirs sing songs of praise*. Not off the bottle yet, mommy isn’t ready. But we’re working on it.

+Loves to go get the mail in her new pink car and swing on her new swing set. Grandmas for the win.

+Got her first virus. That sucked.

+Celebrated her first birthday! Elmo themed party. Pictures to follow later.

T W E L V E MONTHS!

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