Waiting Sucks

I know I can’t be the only one who thinks that waiting sucks.

Maybe you’re waiting for that job promotion, or a new job entirely. Maybe you’re waiting for that baby to arrive, or waiting to get pregnant. Maybe you’re waiting for prince charming to show up already, or waiting for your marriage to get out of that rut it’s in.

There’s a lot to be waiting on. And when it comes to things that we have no control over…it sucks.
As an English major in college I’m trying to find a better word than sucks (also as a mom who can’t let her kid say that word) but I’ve got nothing. Because it’s true you guys.

Waiting sucks. 

I’ve been doing the She Reads Truth Romans study and came across this the other day:

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I’m not sure if you’re waiting for something, but let that all sink in.

I am. I’m waiting and have been waiting for something for a little bit now. I groan each time it doesn’t happen. I groan every time I see someone else get what I want. What I’ve been waiting for.

That’s the worst part too. Seeing other people get what we want. And we’re surrounded by it every day thanks to social media. I won’t sit here and say I don’t have my days where I wallow in self pity. When I ask God, “Ok, but I’ve been really trying to get that and they weren’t. Why do they get it so easily?”

And while I haven’t heard God speak the words exactly to me, I know He’s saying, “Because that’s not what I have for you right now, Megan.” 

And maybe I’m the only one who does this too, but then I start to do the, “Why can’t you just be happy with what you have?” thing with myself. Almost as if I’m asking too much right now, because what I do have is enough.

I keep reminding myself that God is a good, good Father. He sees me. He knows my heart and He knows the desires I have even before I speak them out load. Romans paints a beautiful picture of what hope in Jesus means and looks like. It’s a book I’ve read before, but this time around, it’s different. God’s cool like that.

I’m identifying so much with Paul this time around. When he grumbles about sinning (chapter 7), telling us that he wants to not sin, but does. I get that. I want to put all my trust in God, but I still try to do it all on my own. I don’t want to cry or be super envious of someone else when they get what I’ve been praying for months about…but I do. Paul tells us that we’re going to suffer.

This life with Christ, is and will never be a cake walk.

But we have this hope. 

And that hope in the One true God will give us peace.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. -Romans 8:25

I know that Gods timing is much much better than mine. And I know that just asking and praying for what I want doensn’t mean it will happen tomorrow. My whole life I’ve always thanked God for having a plan better than mine. Looking back whenever God set me on a different path than what I had wanted it wasn’t easy. Tears were shed. My heart hurt.

But.

God.

He had a better plan.

So right now, I know that what I’m waiting for will happen one day. It just might not be the day I had imagined.

If you’re waiting like me, try really really hard to believe that truth. God loves us so much and He’s got us.

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God is good all the time

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The last two months have been nothing short of super crappy. You know those seasons of life, whether their long or short, that just make you feel like the life vest you bought doesn’t work. Or that parachute is a knapsack (10 points to who ever names this quote)?

That’s been my last two months.

We went through the whole ear infection, insomnia debacle. Then moved to allergies and a “maybe she has asthma” diagnosis. And ended with a little bit of heart break.

I’m not super ready to share all those details yet, if I ever do. But ya’ll. This isn’t just me complaining. But the last couple of months have been really hard.

And I have no idea how I would have gotten through any of it, if it wasn’t for the grace and mercy of Jesus.

So for that reason, I’m here to tell you this:

Heartbreak, loss, disappointment and every other crap emotion is going to happen. There’s no way around it.

But in Jesus. There’s this beautiful thing called hope. He promises to never leave us. He promises that after the rain, there’s going to be a big beautiful rainbow. His arms are never not wrapped around us when we call out to Him. Ever.

Maybe you’re like me and you just need a little reminder that God is good all the time. 

Through it all. He is good. 

I don’t know where this finds you today, but on top of the love God has for you, also know that you aren’t alone. In whatever it is you might be going through.
And listen, if life is amazing for you right now. Celebrate that. Give God all the glory.

Here’s to thanking and praising Him no matter the season we’re in.

 

 

 

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God Equips

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If there’s one thing that I am absolutely sure of, it’s that God equips us for the things He’s called us to.

I was reading Jeremiah the other day and found myself thinking over and over again, “Yeah, bro. I get it”.
God called Jeremiah to be a prophet, He knew long before Jeremiah was born that this was the call He had for his life. Scripture tells us that God was clear with this one.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” -Jeremiah 1:5

Jeremiah’s response was the same one I have, “God you’ve got to be kidding. Not me.” (paraphrased by me)
His response is just so…human.

I can’t really imagine, though, having a conversation with God, actually hearing Him speak to me and saying, “Yeah, but I can’t.” I like to think I’d be smart enough to just nod along, because hello. It’s God.

But Jeremiah is me. Maybe he’s you.

God calls him, tells him exactly what He wants him to do with his life and still he answers, “But maybe something different”.

He tells God he’s too young, and doesn’t know how to speak to people like that. He was afraid to speak these words God was giving him because they were unpopular at the time, no one wanted to hear them.

I often give God some excuses to.

I’m just a mom.
I don’t have time.
I need more sleep.
No one is listening/reading.
Little old me can’t make that big of a dent.

God equipped Jeremiah. Verse 17 in chapter one almost makes me laugh.
God says, “Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you.” (NIV)
“But you-up on your feet and get dressed for work! Stand up and say your piece. Say exactly what I tell you to say.” (MSG)

Just like Jeremiah, God has called us into things in our lives. Maybe it’s preaching, or writing, or being a mother, or starting a non-profit, or being a youth leader. Whatever it is, God has equipped us.

We just have to get up, get dressed and start the work.

It’s tough, I know. But we have to let the presence of God in our lives, overcome any excuse we have or any fear we’re holding on to. Because friend, when we let God use us, glory filled Kingdom come things start to happen.

I’ve recently said yes to something big. And scary.
But my prayer over and over again has just been for God to equip me. To use me for His glory. That this big exciting thing I’ve said yes to would have His name all over it, and not mine.

Who knows how it’s all going to turn out, but what I do know,

is that God is equipping me.

 

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Rejoice always

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“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”-1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

I came across this verse the other day and just about laughed.

That morning had just been one of thooose morning with Little Miss. Nothing seemed to work, the whining wouldn’t stop, and by 10am I was already counting down the hours until bedtime.

Sometimes, no all the time, God gives us these gentle reminders.
Reminders that life is actaully really, really good. And no matter what…we always have something to rejoice.

Does that mean it comes totally natural and easy to me?

Heck no, techno.

Not even in the slightest.

Let me expand on that super fun morning. I found Em playing in the dogs water, and not just playing in it, but soaking wet. Less than 20 minutes later I hear her drop something. Turns out I had left my drink on a table and she got it. Pop everywhere. She fussed almost the entire way on our walk, and when we got home, she was super mad I wouldn’t let her outside with Duke.

But then.

I turned the corner and she just looked up and gave me the biggest grin known to man.
I didn’t do anything, I didn’t say a word. She just looked up and smiled at me.

Now, I realize this won’t work later in her life. I know this mostly from trying it myself with my own mother. But right now, it totally works.

I found praise in that smile. In those cheeks I still want to eat off everyday. In the way that I can make her smile like that.
I gave thanks.

I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life (wait, am I an adult?) wondering what on earth God’s will for my life is. I think sometimes as Christians we’re worried we’ll miss that door or that opportunity if we aren’t careful. As if God has one thing for our life and that’s it, and if we miss it, than tough luck.

 

I’ve had it wrong for a really long time. That God’s will for my life is this big huge event. This big huge job. This big huge thing.

But that’s not the case. God’s will for our life is for us to praise Him, to rejoice in everything He’s given and done for us, to give thanks in everything, and to love on people.

I can do those things. I can really, really do those things.

 

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2017

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2016 was a tough year for the world.

Which is weird because it was one of the best I’ve had personally…hello, my baby girl turned ONE.

But it did seem like every night, I hugged her a little tighter because of something that brought tears to my eyes during the day. A shooting, or a terrorist attack. I watched as my own community was the victim of both of those. In one weekend we saw a young pop star shot point blank, a terrorist shoot up a local night club, and a young boy drowned by an alligator. It was a tough year, for sure.

And then we have the 2016 election season. I think we’re all still thanking God it’s finally over, ok maybe not all of us, but I’m sure happy it’s over. We’re certainly more divided than when we rang in the New Year last year, and that’s what really makes me sad.

So I think we all have to try better. Me, you, everyone. We’ve got to get back to the point where we actually like each other and don’t mind if our opinions are different.

For me, it’s really simple. I’ve got to get with God more. Way, way, way more.
I saw this quote on the Proverbs 31 Instagram:

“A real sigh of spiritual maturity is looking to God for purpose and perspective instead of comfort and convenience.”

A lot of my prayers are, “Thank You Lord for…” and then you fill in the blank. It’s always whenever I can find the five minutes to do it too.

It’s comfortable and convenient. It’s honestly not working.

So in effort to get better at…well everything, I picked the word FOCUS for 2017.

I looked up the definition of focus: a central point, attention or activity.
The synonyms though are what really got me: center, heart, core.

I actually struggled with what word to pick. I’ve been following along with Lara Casey’s goal setting and I was going to skip the whole word for the year thing, because I’ve felt like in the past, I’ve picked a word and forgotten about it or let it go by January 10th.

But something about focus just hit me.

Center, heart, core.

J E S U S.

Jesus at the center, Jesus in my heart, Jesus at the core. Of it all.
I think I’ve tried to make this whole picking a word thing too hard. Put too much pressure on it.
So I’m simplifying it this year.

Like the beginning of every year, I’m so excited for January 1.

Cheers to a New Year, friends! Have you picked your word?

 

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The Future Freaks Me Out

It’s not a secret that we’re living in some dark times, and I honestly don’t mean to be “that person”, but let’s just be real here for a second.

We’ve got wars going on, people flying planes into buildings, shooting up nightclubs (and other establishments that I’m not even going to type out), Police officers being shot for doing their jobs, racism rearing it’s such ugly head, two people running for President that are literally the worst.

Is there so much left that’s good? Yes, the answer, I pray, will always be yes.

But.

That’s the thing.

Mamas, we have got to pray for the future of our children. The world that they’ll grow up in, the people they’ll become. In total honesty, it all freaks me out a little.
Ok a lot.

I’ve been working on praying for Em’s future lately. Specifically that she’d grow up and know Jesus. That she’d follow Him, be an example of Him. And that’s about as far as I get.
Because I think that’s the most important.

Do I want her to do well in life? Go to college, get a good job, get married, give me a ton of grand babies? You bet. But above all of that. I want her to have a strong relationship with the Lord.

Because who knows what this world will look like in ten to twenty years.

The future freaks me out, but I have a hope that is ever lasting. My human emotions sometimes get the best of me, but I’m quieted so often by the reminder that no matter what…no matter what happens in the world, no matter who gets elected. I’m ok. We’re ok. Our children, when we raise them up in Christ, will be ok.

 

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Our beautiful minds

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The mind is a beautiful thing. When I start to think about thoughts, and where they come from (even specifically in the brain) I get lost in awe. It’s amazing. Our brains, and what they make us do, let us think about.

There’s also a huge danger there, right? If we aren’t careful we can start out thinking about how great our day was, but then thoughts can creep in and steal that joy away. A fear might pop up, or a regret about something that didn’t get done.

Satan is super quick, y’all.

I was reminded this morning in a devotional about how important it is to keep our thoughts straight, and on God. There’s a battle happening between our minds and our hearts on a daily basis, and if we aren’t careful, the mind can win. Our hearts are pure. They want the best. They store up those good vibes and replay them all day. But sometimes, that mind of ours can play tricks on us.

There’s a lot…ok too much bad going on in our world. You can pretty much guarantee every morning when you wake up something else has happened. As a mother, this terrifies me. Shootings, and bombings. Masked men walking into elementary schools. See where my mind is going?

Do I think it’s realistic to walk around in la la land, ignoring what’s happening? Of course not. And if you’re that kind of woman, I urge you to knock it off. But there has to be a middle ground.

And for me, that’s Jesus. And the promises He made.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

I’m a mother so I worry, I’ll do it for the rest of my life. But.
I also know that God has a plan. One that at times I won’t understand because it might be painful. One that at times I won’t even find the right words for gratitude. But He’s got one. And I trust in that.

I think that if we’re going to over come the crap in this world, we have to start with our thoughts. Are they good, or bad? It’s that’s simple. Are we wishing well, or ill? Are they full of love or hate? Because to be honest, it’s super easy in todays world to be the later of all those.

Life is one big beautiful choice though.

Thank you, Jesus for that.

So let’s use our beautiful minds for good.

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Be that happy

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This. Is pure joy, ya’ll.

Like, nothing else in the world matters joy.

I need that. And thank God this little girl brings it to me.

Having a baby does a lot to you. Emotionally, you’re a crazy person. Physically, you want to go back in time and slap your size 4 self for ever saying “does this make me look fat?” Mentally, you wonder if you’ve been removed and placed on a different planet. Or again, a crazy person.

But it also brings you so much joy.

Because if you can’t look at a baby smiling in a swing and not be happy, there’s something wrong with you.

I need to choose this happy more. This grin from ear to ear happy that Em has 99.9% of the time. Life is easier and more fun when you’re happy. Look it up, I’m sure that’s a fact.
In a world where there’s so much to be unhappy about, or in my case lately it’s been annoyed it. People, things, situations (looking at you Kaepernick…aka bonehead of the decade). I know I run the risk of beings super cliche right now but I’ll say it anyways, we’ve all got a choice when we wake up in the morning to be this kind of happy, or not.

Do I think we need to disregard our feelings, or not show emotion, no. But I do think it’s silly to let things spiral into a whole day wasted on cruddy feelings.

I get into my own head a lot. Sometimes I blame the fact that I don’t get a lot of human interaction…ok with humans that talk in complete sentences. I think about things, people, negative situations way too much. At the risk of sounding like a crazy person, lately I start singing a child’s television show theme song to stop. Doc, Mickey, Sesame Street. They loop around. I know this is nuts but it helps. Also makes me think of Em, also makes me stop thinking and dwelling on things, also makes me happy.

We all need to come up with ways to get the crap out of our heads. A song, a run, cooking, whatever it might be, find it.

Because we all need to be this happy. Life is too short (there I go clicheing again.) to let it all bother us so much. I’ve got too much to be thankful for, you have too much to be thankful for to spend the day unhappy.

Then He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. – Matthew 18:3

Children just see the happy. They have the utmost joy in sitting in a swing for 10 minutes. Like nothing else in the world matters.

Joy. Happiness. Joy.

Can we all just turn and run from responsibilities, of course not. But we can view them differently. Like we’re about to get on the swings, squealing with excitement. I think it’s juts all perspective, ya’ll.

I want and need this happy.

 

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The most important job

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Being a mom is a job. Do I think it’s the best and most fun job on the planet, you bet. I might not get paid in dollars, and to be super cliche here I’ll just say it. I get paid in giggles and kisses.
But this is my job.

From the minute I open my eyes, to the second they close.

This weekend we had Em dedicated at church. She of course flashed that giant smile of hers to the congregation, and was the best baby while it all went down.

I have to be honest and say that I don’t remember what the pastor said. The whole day was such a blur and I think I was on emotional mommy overload.

But thank goodness for little sissy’s who videotape the whole thing. Or record…whatever the kids are calling it these days.

I just watched it back and cue the tears.

“Father bless this vibrant and energetic little girl, Jesus spread your strength and courage on her, and bless her in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. And bless these parents Lord for the job you’ve given them”. 

I don’t know about any other parents, but this job brings me so much joy and terrifies me all at the same time. I’ll go ahead and say it. It’s the most important job out there. It’s certainly the most important job I’ll ever have. The choice I’ve made to be a parent, that any parent has made, is huge.

I’ve thought a lot about Ems future the last couple of days. I rented a book on Steve Jobs from the library and told her I wanted her to invent the next iPhone. I realize that no matter what she does, or how much or little money she’ll ever make I can only ask one thing of her.

To love Jesus more than anyone, or anything.

And it’s my job as her mama to show her what that looks like. So that one day, I pray sooner rather than later, she can make the decision to do the same.

“Love God, your God, with your whole heart:
love Him with all that’s in you, love Him with all you’ve got! 
Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts.
Get them inside of you, and then get them inside your children.
Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street;
talk about them from the time you wake up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.
Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder;
inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.”
-Deuteronomy 6:5-9 MSG

 

Is it a lot of pressure on me to make sure my children come to know the Lord so they’ll spend eternity in Heaven with me? Yea. That sentence in fact has so much weight.
But ya’ll. I am honored to have been chosen to be Emily’s mom and get to do this.

Do I want to be a cool mom (and not a regular mom), you bet. Do I want to be known as the fun mom in the neighborhood (who makes the best chocolate chip cookies?), you bet. But.
I’d give up all the cool points and cookies to make sure my children come to know Jesus.

T for time out. If you don’t get the phrases in parentheses I don’t know you.

Some people think it’s force full to push their beliefs on their children. And while I can understand that logic, I want to make sure I use words only when necessary when it comes to Jesus, and always let my actions do the work. We’ll read the Word together but I won’t shove it down throats. But in the end, if it means heaven or hell. I’m going to turn blue in the face if it means pointing them to Jesus.

Being a parent comes with a huge job.

One that I’m honored to have.

 

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God made you too, mama.

“How cool is it that the same God, Who created the mountains, and oceans, and galaxies, looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too?”

This quote blew me away the other day.

I was scrolling through Facebook and it was one of those “so and so liked this photo from this page that shared it from their sister”. Which I have to be honest and say I hate that Facebook does, let me like things in peace without you blabbing it to the world.
Moving on.

But this one made me so happy to see.

I forget this a lot. I think it’s the whole being a mom thing now, I don’t think about me, well ever anymore. And this isn’t in a complaining way. I’m healthy and happy. But I don’t take time to sit and realize that the God of the universe took as much care in making me as He did the oceans and every piece of sand you find in them.

Boom.

I think about Em this way. This perfect tiny human that God created by hand. To be beautiful and wonderful. Created to be my daughter. Put on this earth for me to love the crap out of.
When I was pregnant my favorite thing to do was to google “Baby at (whatever week we were on) weeks”. I was fascinated by this tiny human growing inside of me. When her eyes developed and her nose, and her toes and fingers. All of it God had been forming for a very long time.

And He did the same with me.

As a mother I always hear how important it is to “take time for myself”, which yes I hear you. It’s usually to get my nails done, or brush my hair, or if I’m feeling super crazy, get a shower in.

But what if mothers, we decided that the only thing we needed to do was to spend some time with the Creator of the Universe. The same one that placed the oceans into the world, and placed each star in the sky.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never left my time with the Lord thinking, “Gosh that really sucked. I don’t feel better at all”.

So breathe in this beautiful truth:

The God that made your beautiful babies, took just as much time and care into making you.

Me, you, our babes. We were all created by God. The Holy and perfect God.

Who made us Holy and perfect.

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